THAT KID WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING!!!!!

The '80's and 90's were spawning Metal like a hospital nursery! The German fans were out in full force, having discovered the love and intensity of Metal long before the wave hit many other countries! Why, it took over 25 years for the fans to discover jean jackets with patches on them! In these blooming years of thrash Metal, the Germans already had the fever and it was going strong! Fans would line up to party hours before the shows, swarm the merch tables and mosh like motherf#@$ers till the last guitar riff was long past a memory! The beer was flowing and I must admit, quite a few of them only heard the music in their passed out fantasies!

Motorhead was one of the bands the mighty Deutschland was infected with! Every year, they did a series of Christmas Metal Fests during the week of Christmas, and rocked the house down! My bands were a favorite flavor on these shows, and I looked forward to them with as much excitement as the fans fighting for the front row. Starting with Sacred Reich in the late '80's, and moving on to Sepultura, after I began managing them, we built a friendship with the band, the crew, and many other openers. I became friends with Phil Campbell during the Sacred dates, and he would let me sit in his area on the side of the stage...you can imagine how I loved that...what better view!!

This particular year, on a Sep run, we were in some beastly German city, and it happened to be Lemmy's birthday and I recall, it was the first day of the short tour. Andreas had broken his arm in a jet ski accident and the band hired a friend, Silvio Golfetti, from Korzus, to fill in. He had a super warm smile, was a kickass riffer and even looked a bit like Andreas. We were all grateful that Andreas had survived the accident, since it had broken his upper arm in quite deep water! The band did not want to cancel the run, and moved quickly to find someone up to the job.

Silvio from Korzus and Iggor

After short discussion in the backstage, Max asked me to ask Motorhead if he could sing Orgasmatron with Lemmy, that night, in honor of Lemmy's birthday. I made my way to someone...a crew member, a tour manager? Short time later, I got a big "No!" "Lemmy says Max sings with his throat and not from deep in his soul." Yeah, we were shocked, intimidated a bit, but soon, after a few vodkas, the Brazilians got a wee bit angry. The anger turned into pranking and soon, all sorts of remedies were being suggested, by the Seps. With big smiles, they decided to strip down with only a sock on their dangles, and march on the stage during Orgasmatron. This was not something I highly recommended, let me tell you, Students!!

The set was steaming hot! Max stage dived, rocked like a cyclone in a toy store, and the venue began blistering up, I was secretly hoping they would change their minds before Motorhead hit the stage, but no, the boozing, the atmosphere and the laughter got stronger by the minute!

Iggor drumming

Max crowd surfing

after crowd surfing

Iggor's drum kit kicked over

The crowd spat fire and looked like a tumbleweed hurricane as the mighty Motorhead hit the stage!! The Richter Scale went rocketing off the graph that night, somewhere in Germany!! And low and behold, during Orgasmatron, there they went, prancing like drunken sailors, spilling onto the stage. I saw the mortified look of Lemmy, as the shock set in! There was Max, only shirtless, but drunk as a pirate, sloshing his screwdriver right into Phil Campbell's pedalboard! Oh shite, this was gonna get my ass in trouble! Their crew did the best they could to lasso the Seps and clean the mess to avoid technical difficulties, but the knife had been sunk deep!

Motorhead

Motorhead

Dressing room fun

About to go on stage!

Immediately after their set, I was summoned to Lemmy's dressing room. There was hell to pay! I was impressed by the size of the cake!! A giant, two layer frosted beauty, in all its glory was waiting for him. He was a gentleman and offered me a huge slice before he sent me to walk the plank. It was creamy and delicious and made my whipping much sweeter! "That kid will never amount to anything! He can't control his alcohol! He has no respect for others!" I nodded, frosting slithering down my throat. I agreed to do the best I could to make sure Max acted with a bit more couth from then on! Lemmy was pissed, but a gentleman, for sure!

Someone mentioned to Lemmy previously, that my Mother had attended the Nurnberg Trials, had actually walked the hall of the jail cells where the violators were confined, had even peaked into Goerring's cell and miraculously survived a concentration camp. Lemmy was really interested in German WW2 history and invited me to visit historic locations in Nurnberg with him, and I was excited to go. But....at the last minute, this kid came to me and asked me to stay and spend the day with him. You know who I chose.....

Have a blessed New Year, my dear Students!!!

Class dismissed.......